I have never been more in limbo than this moment. Oscillating between avoidance and intrusion of unwanted thoughts, coupled with arousal of negative emotions, these are the known symptoms. But what is the trauma?

All I know is that the 3 facets of previously represented assumptions seem to have been shattered. The world is not so benevolent (it is unforgiving and judgmental), not so meaningful (it is unjust and unwarranted events rain down on us) and the self is not so competent to act (it is defeated and very much helpless). There is no coping mechanism when there are no traumatic memories to recall, no stimuli to be repeatedly exposed to for habituation, and no network of fear nodes to begin with.

This is just me on an autopilot system malfunction.